The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
