What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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