dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
