The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
