i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The air was thick with penises
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
