I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I won the penis lottery.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
