Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
