There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
