Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
