I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
