Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
