id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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