oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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