...so i touched it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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