I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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