i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize