Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
