people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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