And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The adults are the big ones right?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
