I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I enjoy the company of your penis
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
