I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
