I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
