i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
