I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
