I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
