I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
