Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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