he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
