Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
4 words: hood of his car
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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