I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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