I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
