Rock
Scissors
Fuck
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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