Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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