just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
