In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
