So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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