No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize