God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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