I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
