I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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