OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
