Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think my moral compass just broke
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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