he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
