I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
