Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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