dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
