the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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