what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
