Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry pvtgams hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

I'm sorry my penis didn't work

Fav 10 1095 2626
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.

Fav 11 4763 1587
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"

Fav 18 5677 1792
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.

Fav 25 5404 4083
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?

Fav 4 2903 883
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.

Fav 4 2863 966
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

Fav 3 1056 1437
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.

Fav 0 44 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(863): View more from Florida

They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.

Fav 0 50 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT