Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
