we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you had me at cake vodka
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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