they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
