new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
