Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
