kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
