Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
